Fudge (Jackson/McKinnon)

Mel fiddled with her fingers nervously. Oh shit, this is a really bad idea, she told her self, staring at James' door, it's an awful idea... it's not even an idea.. whose idea is this? I don't need to tell him! I need to leave. Leave. Leave. Leave. Just leave. NO! You have to tell him.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and knocked on the door, waiting for James to answer while she wondered what the hell she was going to say to him. He was her bloody best friend... how the hell do you tell your friend something like.. this. Shit, fucking shit.

A knock on the door was what woke James from his peaceful sleep. Well, it wasn't very peaceful anymore, seeing at is was the afternoon and he had already woken up a few times. He just didn't want to get out of bed, so he just kept falling back asleep. This was the only reason he actually heard the knock, otherwise he'd just slept right through it.

He dragged himself from the comfortable warmth of his bed, not bothering to put on a shirt and combing his fingers through his bed head hair as he wandered to the door. He had no idea who would be visiting him, he hadn't invited someone over, had he?

When he opened the door and saw Mel standing there, he was kind of surprised. "Didn't expect to see you here," he informed her, covering his mouth as he yawned. "Want to come inside? I need some coffee. You want some?"

Mel stared at James as he opened the door... shirtless. Merlin, that was so typical of him. "Hi... who ate your shirt?" she tried to joke, but it came up more strained than she would've liked.

The woman followed James inside the house, nodding her head. "Yeah cofffe'd be nice.." she trailed off, were pregnant - Merlin, thats a fucked up word - women allowed to have coffee? "Actually, water, do you have that?" she tried to smile, but grimaced instead.

She knew the way into James' kitchen, even though when they were hanging around they didn't often spend time in there seeing as neither of them could cook to save their lives. She sat down on a chair and crossed her legs, awkwardly fiddling with her fingers again. "I... I need to talk to you.." Oh fuck, run away now!

James reached the kitchen and grabbed one of the tiny cups to put in his espresso machine. It was probably one of the few inventions muggles made that was quite amazing. He loved the espresso's. And with a little touch of magic, the machine didn't need electricity anymore. He shrugged as Mel didn't want coffee and opted for water instead. Her choice, really.

He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the tap, seeing as he didn't really have water in his fridge.

His own coffee was done when he finished with Mel's water and he picked up the cup with his free hand, turning to the blond that was sitting at his kitchen table, informing him that they needed to talk. "You're not gonna tell me you're pregnant, are you?" he joked, chuckling at his own joke.

You're not going to tell me you're pregnant or something? The words caused the girl to drop her newly received glass on the floor.

She jumped backwards at the noise and then stared at the broken glass on the floor, with wide eyes. "I'm sorry!" she spluttered out quickly, pulling our her wand to make the mess disappear, before she looked back at James, she could just feel her face paling. "I..." she choked on the words.

How the hell do I tell him I'm pregnant with his child? Melanie closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. "James..." she opened her eyes again and bit her lip. "I... I... I am." she looked down, finding her fingers very interesting. "I am pregnant..."

James found it quite strange as Mel dropped her glass to the floor, he was about to take out his own want, clean up the mess and ask her if everything was okay, when she beat him to it and started to say something. She seemed to have a little trouble with finding the words, so James decided to stay silent until she spoke up. When she finally did, it was his turn to let go of his mug, not even noticing as it shattered at his feet.

She was pregnant. With a baby. Pregnant with a baby. And she was telling him. That could only mean one thing, unless she decided to tell him seeing as he was a good friend. But he honestly couldn't see why in Merlin's name she would trust him with such a secret. Only one thing. She was pregnant with his child.

"You're pregnant," he said quietly, his hands grabbing the kitchen counter for balance. He needed something to hold on to. "You're sure? You're completely sure?" he pressed, biting his lip. Oh how he wished she would tell him she was kidding. He doubted he'd ever wished something this much. "It's mine, isn't it? That's why you're telling me. It's my baby?" he asked, he had to be sure.

Mel bit harder down on her lip as she nodded, her hands trembling. "I went to see a healer... to confirm it." she said, still finding her fingers much more interesting than actually looking up at James, she was pretty sure she'd never gain the courage to look at him. "It's yours... I'm sure of that too." she choked out.

She continued playing with her fingers that stayed put in her lap. "I'm sorry... I just.. I thought I'd tell you, but I have an... an appointment." she cleared her throat. "With the healer to get the potion, tomorrow."

Mel forced herself to look up and tried to smile, this was a bloody mess that they were in for sure, but at least they'd have it sort of solved tomorrow, wouldn't they?

James let go of the counter, took a few steps forward and let himself sink down in one of his chairs, burying his head in his hands. His baby. She was pregnant with his baby. There was a life inside of her belly that he had put there. She kept talking, but he couldn't listen anymore. His head was spinning, how was he supposed to handle this. How was one supposed to react to his.

Mel cleared her throat and James snapped his head up again. An appointment with a healer who'd give her a potion. What kind of potion?

"What kind of potion?" he asked her, lifting his own head from his hands as he met her gaze.

Mel blinked, how did he not know what she meant? Merlin, he must be really freaking out. It was bloody understandable though, she hadn't really taken the news calmly when she found out, she still wasn't taking it calmly. But she'd fix it soon, fix their lives and it would all be over and forgotten and they could move on with their lives.

"An abortion potion?" she said, trying to give a reassuring smile. "You know, potion that makes ... it... go away." she stuttered slightly. Merlin, she really couldn't believe this had happened to them, they're best friends! Best friends that shag once, Merlin karma wasn't their friend at all.

James eyes widened and he felt his blood begin to boil as Mel explained exactly what kind of potion she was planning on getting. She couldn't be serious right? One look at her though, told James she was being completely serious. Without him realizing it, the blond man had stood up, so wildly his chair fell behind him. He started pacing, at loss for what to do.

How could she even smile while talking about this!

"You can't do that! That's like, that's like, it's just, you can't do that!" he said, much louder than he intended, gripping the edges of the counter again as he faced the wall, he didn't trust himself to look around. He just couldn't.

"How can you even be considering this! There's a baby in there, a living baby! How could you want to kill that!"

Mel had definitely not expected this reaction, when James stood up, so livid looking, the girl was honestly startled and she jumped back, her chair scraping against the floor.

"I cant do it?" she repeated, standing up slowly. "James, what I cant do is a have a baby!" she shook her head, staring at him. "We cant have a baby. It's the best thing for everyone to get rid of it. Then we can just go back to normal!"

She narrowed her eyes, her fingers twitching but she refused to touch her stomach like they were wanting. "It's not a baby yet! It's not been there for so long! It's not really living!"

Mel couldn't believe he was actually saying this. Was he actually saying it? They couldn't have a baby! She couldn't have a baby! She couldn't bloody carry a baby for nine months! She couldn't do this! There was not a chance on this planet that she could, and that was bloody obvious!

James left the counter and went to stand in front of Mel, his gaze lowered to meet hers. His hands wanted to reach out and place themselves on her belly. He knew it was stupid so he didn't let himself do it, even if he really wanted to. His voice was soft but clear. He didn't understand why he was so calm about this. He didn't understand how he could be so sure.

"You can't get rid of this baby, it deserves to live," he muttered, and in an impulse, he reached for Mel's hand. He knew it wasn't appropriate, but he couldn't stop himself.

"It may not be living now, but it will be living if it stays there. You can't take that away," he continued, swallowing. "We can't go back to normal after this. And you can't get rid of it. Please, don't do this. We'll find a way to take care of it. I don't know how, but we will. But please, please don't take this baby away," he whispered, biting down on his lower lip.

As soon as his hand was around hers, Mel felt the need to pull away. What the hell was he saying? What the hell was he doing?
"No," her whole body shook. "I cant!" she broke herself free from James and took a step backwards. "There's not a chance on this planet that we're doing this!"

She shook her head again, her eyes were starting to sting and she just wanted to get the hell away from there. "I'm not having it. I'm not having it James!" her chest heaved up and down. She couldn't do this, no she couldn't. She didn't want to! She did not want to! "I'm not having it!" she wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from him.

She hadn't felt his vulnerable in years, vulnerable, weak and utterly freaking out, but she just couldn't. She just couldn't at all.

James didn't even know what to feel anymore. He wished there was a manual for this. What To Do If One Of Your Best Friends And You Have Sex And She Finds Out She's Pregnant With Your Baby And Wants To Get An Abortion Potion To Get Rid Of It. Well, that would certainly be a bestseller. James could feel his heart thumping faster in his chest, unable to keep it under control.

He took a step closer when she turned away, nearly feeling the heat radiating of her back on his chest, but he didn't reach out to touch her again. He had no idea when tears had formed in his eyes. He couldn't recall the last time he cried, he rarely cried. But before he could stop it the tears were running down his cheeks. At least his body allowed him not to make any sounds, just silent tears. He brought his hand up to wipe them away softly, this was not a matter to be crying about. He wouldn't allow himself.

"But Mel," he started, his voice rough, his hand twitching to reach out for her. He wanted to comfort her, wanted to tell her it would be okay, but he didn't know how. He was only twenty-four, he had no idea how to do this. He didn't know if it would all be okay. But the only thing he did know is that she couldn't kill that baby. His baby.

"It won't disappear. Won't you always think about the What if's? It's ours, it might not be living right now, but doesn't it deserve a chance to live?" he nearly whispered, he was now standing so close that his breath was ghosting over her ear.

He chuckled then, unable to stop himself. He, James Jackson, was trying to convince a girl not to get rid of a baby he put in her belly. He swallowed thickly, hand coming up to comb through his hair. When had this happened? When had he changed so much.

"It's just a baby Mel, just a little baby. You have to give it a chance," he whispered, tears threatening to form in his eyes again but he vigorously tried to blink them away. "We'll figure out what to do. I'll pay for everything you need. Anything, just, don't do this. Don't go to that appointment and don't take that potion," he muttered.

Even if he tried to understand why he felt so strongly about this baby, he couldn't figure it out. The only thing he knew was that he was only certain about one thing. He couldn't let Mel take it away from him.

She didn't want to do it. She just couldn't do it. She couldn't take care of a baby. She wasn't responsible enough, she couldn't keep a job and there was no way she could raise a baby, a child, her child.

The blond wrapped her arms tighter around herself, hugging herself as the tears started to fall at his words. You have to give it a chance. But the baby wouldn't have a chance! Not with her as a mother, she'd forget it somewhere and go on the next adventure. Bloody hell, she was only 21 years old, she hadn't bloody lived yet!

Mel could feel how close he was, but she couldn't bear to look at him. "James... It's not right, I don't want to have a child into this world! Into my family!" her voice broke. "I don't want to resent my kid or have it turn up fucked up like some of my siblings and I don't know how the hell you think I can do it! Even with your money! I tried to 'raise' my siblings and I got bloody tired of it and got out! I cant leave this baby, but I always do. You know that."

But how could she kill it? Her little, little, tiny, unborn baby? She had made it, how could she take it away? Oh, how she wished she hadn't come here, everything was much easier before she had to tell James, she had just decided to get the potion and not allowed herself to think about it twice, but now he was... and she was... and she just didn't understand what the hell she was supposed to do anymore.

He couldn't just stand there anymore. He took the final step closer and pressed his front against her back, his arms going around her waist and under her own arms to place his hands on her stomach. It was stupid, it wasn't as if he could feel anything there, but the thought of having their baby safely hidden away behind his hands was a comforting thought he wasn't prepared to give up.

"How can you say that? All your siblings love you. Your parents shouldn't have expected you to take care of them but you did. Your siblings aren't fucked up, just like you aren't fucked up. Don't you want to be a mother? Sometime. Want to have a little baby all to yourself. To raise and love? Maybe it did come a little early, but that doesn't mean we can't make it work," he muttered against her hair.

He would freak out later. He would realize he was throwing away his life later. All of that would happen later. Right now he had to stay calm, because that was the only option.

He was hugging her now, at first she just wanted to wrestle him away and run out of the apartment, but she knew that if he wasn't planning on letting go, he wouldn't let go. Besides, it felt weirdly comforting. His hands on her stomach, made the air in her throat hitch.

Mel swallowed and let herself lean against James. "It's so early," she muttered, closing her eyes and for the first time in days feeling just how utterly exhausted she was. "We haven't lived James..." but was it right to give up this baby's life for theirs? "It's so scary." she managed out, her voice breaking again. "I.. I don't know where to start, and if I just make it go away I never have to tell anyone about it... it's just too real James. I don't know where to begin."

Mel placed her hands on top of his. "Do you really want to keep it?" her voice broke again. "Do... Do you think... we can?" she started shaking slightly again. "Do you?"

James closed his eyes as he felt Mel lean against him and he rested his chin on top of her head. He wrapped his arms tighter around her to make sure she wouldn't fall and breathed out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He bit down on his lip hard as she continued talking. They hadn't lived, no. Or well, he had lived, but he wasn't done living. This would surely change their lives. But wouldn't it also change their lives in a good way? Wouldn't it just give them another live to love?

"I'm scared too, but not scared enough to make it go away," he muttered, opening his eyes again and staring down at the woman currently leaning against his chest.

"I really do, yes. I think we will find a way to make this work. We have to," he told her, his thumbs starting to rub her stomach comfortingly. One hand turned around and he once again captured hers in his. "It'll be okay," he confirmed, and even though he was just as scared as she was, this was something he was certain about.

Mel sighed, letting James take her hand and found herself holding on. “I don’t know how we’re going to do this. I know I have my family, but bloody hell James, I have my family. I’ve got the kids and I’ve got the older ones and they’re all going to freak on me, and then I’m going to freak and this baby is going to freak and... I can’t believe we’re having a baby, like a real life kid, like.. like.. like a baby.”

She removed his hand on her stomach with her hand and turned to look at him, her other hand still holding onto his. “It’s crazy, but...” she bit her lip. “If you really think you can do this... that we can do this... It’s going to be bloody tough, this is for forever you know? It’s not just nine months of carrying a kid and then popping it out-“ Shit, giving birth, no, no can’t do that- “-and then it’s over. It's not over. It’s for always, it’s a kid, it’s our kid and we have to take care of it for always. Forever. There won’t be any going back.”